Imperial Misfits
by DreadMasterStyrak
Summary: Imperial Misfits, also known as Alter Sithari, are just what their name implies: a band consisting of four individuals, each of whom has some bad blood between them and the Empire. They travel the Galaxy, sing their songs and get into trouble. Here are their stories. M for language. (the band name is heavily inspired by an actual band named Enter Shikari)
1. Sollux's rant

**Sollux, an ex-Fixer, takes time to rant about Imperial Intelligence.**

 **Also possibly implied Imperial Agent spoilers.**

 **Also, IA story critical.**

 **(Rated M for language because Sollux swears a lot.)**

* * *

\- Alright, I'll even speak normally for your sake. So I heard you are crazy enough to WANT to work in the intelligence? Well, listen to me. Don't. Go find something else to do.

\- Because after I will tell you a thing, you will have no fucking reason to retain this desire.

\- Because it sucks 24\7, they are all a bunch of brainwashed spineless lickspittles there, and Sith can and do dance on your heads 24\7 and they brainwashed me even though I was a fucking FIXER and wasn't even supposed to talk to those assholes. Yet when one barged in and fucked up my work, I was supposed to lick her shoes? But I didn't and I told her to back off and talk to the watchers.

\- So yeah, in short: it sucks, and you get NO reward aside from being locked in a prison on Nar Shaddaa when you outlive your usefulness.

\- I still don't get the motivation. Like, Sith go for power. Jedi go for peace and learning and whatever Jedi do. Bounty Hunters just want glory or cash or both. Smugglers just want to fuck the system. Troopers want to defend their factions or something. And all of these people get some kind of reward in the end, except those who go for the Intelligence.

\- There's no reward, and the job fucking sucks, and you can't even do whatever you want with the time that's supposed to be your FREE time.

\- Honestly, what the fuck.


	2. Bad luck

**The band Alter Sithari, also known as Imperial Misfits, consisting of Shanrou the Pureblood\Zeltron, Sollux the ex-Fixer and Ainir the runaway Pureblood smuggler, got captured by the Dread Guard and brought to Oricon to meet with Shanrou's ancestors.**

* * *

They walked in eerie silence. The masked Dread Guards didn't speak, didn't answer questions. Shanrou walked first, with Ainir on his right, her dreadlocks all fussed up and her face grumpy, and Sollux, a former imperial agent, on his left. The chiss's face with mismatched eyes didn't betray any emotions. The nautolan Cybs was nowhere to be seen since their capture. Shanrou only hoped that he was alive.

"What have we done" - Shanrou wondered for a thousandth time. Just as he opened his mouth to voice his question, Ainir looked around and whispered:

"Well you don't see the legendary Dread Palace every day. Especially when you're just some misfit"

Sollux shrugged, not saying anything.

"I wonder what it is they want from us…" - Shanrou spoke up.

"I feel like we'll learn soon enough" - Ainir muttered. And Force she seemed to be right. The hall lead them to a wide door. Behind it, a cavernous chamber in a greenish smoke.

When Shanrou and his friends ascended the stairs, they could see: they were to stand before the Dread Masters themselves.

"Ii don't liike iit…" - Sollux mumbled as they were ushered along the bridge to a platform in-between six thrones. One of them was empty: Dread Master Styrak, the one who has captured Shanrou and his friends on Darvannis where they held a concert in the oasis city.

The Dread Guards bowed and left the way they came, abandoning Shanrou and his friends to the mercy of the Dread Masters.


	3. Bad Ghoul Day

**The band Alter Sithari was visiting Alderaan as a part of one of their tours, and got caught in the beginning of a Rakghoul resurgence. Shanrou, Ainir and Roryk aren't too happy about it.**

 **Warnings - Rakghoul event spoilers (minor, I guess?) and some strong language.**

* * *

The moment the air erupted in unholy screeches, Ainir, Roryk and Shanrou regretted coming to Alderaan and cursed their horrendous luck. Their fellow band member, the Chiss Sollux, didn't seem to be affected. In fact, she seemed to perk up and listen.

Ainir jumped to her and grabbed a hold of her arm.

"How can you be so calm during this insanity? THERE ARE MOTHERFUCKING RAKGHOULS INVADING THE PLACE. "

"Yea I didn't sign up for this shit" Roryk, the Togruta looked around nervously, hiding behind Shanrou, a rather futile endeavor as he was taller than the Pureblood and his montrals towered over the group.

Sollux instead of joining the mild panic, grinned creepily from ear to ear.

"We're safe. I can talk to them and they fuck off."

Ainir didn't seem too eager about that prospect.

"Maybe **we** could fuck off to somewhere safe before you can test whatever mad theory brewing up in your chiss-ghoul brain?"

Shanrou and Roryk nodded in sync, siding with the red-headed Pureblood.

Sollux raised her head at the sky in exasperation.

"Okay fine. You assholes are no fun, but you win."

With that, she let Ainir drag them to the spaceport.


End file.
